What If Something Were To Happen?

Nothing like opening your eyes after witnessing a nightmare and realizing it was all just a dream.  Shew!  That was me this morning and talk about waking up suddenly, oh my gosh. 

The nightmare was so real.  We were in an apartment like structure at the beach and the waves continued to get bigger and bigger.  The coast was covered with water, which is normal for the Delaware beaches during high tide.  People around were taking picture because the sea foam was blowing on shore.  There were a bunch of crazies in the water trying to "catch a wave".  At first we were standing outside the complex and when we realized the water was getting closer we casually walked inside and headed up to the room.  For whatever reason, Nolan was upstairs in the room playing with his uncle.  Upon walking up the last flight of steps, I saw Nolan crawling on the ground trying to get down the steps.  After my heart was in my throat, I realized that his uncle was there playing and crawling with him.  We got ready to head back up to the room and that's when it happened. 

I heard people outside yell "it's coming.. hurry up".  The sound of people screaming and running to high ground was incredible, that was all you could hear.  The sound of the waves had stopped, no birds chirping, no breeze blowing.  Mother nature had silenced herself.  You could however, feel the ground shaking, the floor moving beneath our feet, and the windows were shattering.  I remember hearing a voice counting down "Five, Four.."  I recall reaching into some sort of organizer and grabbing for a key and a cell phone.  And then I remember swimming, swimming as fast as I could to reach the top.

The wave had crashed and covered everything.  After the water retracted I realized I was back in our room.  Nolan was in his car seat (not sure how that happened) and everything was soaked and covered in sand.  The cell phone I grabbed was working, but I realized quickly it wasn't mine.  Mine wouldn't allow me to view anything, as the screen was destroyed by the water.  I started going through stuff and I remember finding photos, all which were destroyed. 

Then... I woke up. 

Wow, talk about waking up and appreciating everything that you have.  Yea, that was me this morning.  Thanking God for allowing me to have all my possessions with me, my family, our memories, even small things that I always take for granted.

I think the dream was a result of watching too much Doomsday Preppers last night.  But after "living through this nightmare" it honestly has me second guessing.  What if something were to happen??

Eraser Marks

So I have been thinking a lot lately (cause I have plenty of time to do so since I have been laid off of work) about life and things in general.  I have come to realize that all things are meant to be regardless of how it feels when they happen.  Something that can cause the greatest pain will eventually bring peace while something that creates a smile can eventually bring sadness.  Of course, what is meant to be will happen. 

I drove past a little "back woods" church the other day.  (I say back woods because it seriously is in the back of a woods)  There was a sign out front that said, "Write your life plans in pencil and hand God the eraser."  I don't know why, but that sign has stuck with me for the past few days.  The saying is one that I believe to be so true. 

I was a person who had to plan everything, everything down to the last microscopic detail.  When something didn't go as planned I had to redo it until it was perfect.  This theory of mine was applied to everything in my life.  My schooling, my career, my home.... it was even applied to the creation of my family. 

But if I sit here now and think about my past 31 years - the good, the bad, and everything in between; I find myself left with a piece of paper that is covered with only eraser marks.  Is this bad?  I thought so.  I then realized that although none of my plans worked out the way I wanted them to, they had worked out.  Isn't that all that matters? 

So, as I sit here and ponder what could happen since I am laid off and my severance is nearing an end, I am taken back to that blank piece of paper with the eraser marks.  I am reminded that I can create the plan but in the end the only thing on the paper will be eraser marks and I am okay with that!

Oh... I just may have it!

I have an idea that is brewing in my head, something that if it works would be a lifesaver to me and to countless others.  It's something that I could, with a lot of work, make work.  Some how some way I would make it work. 

I have the starts of what I would need, though I would need to get more, I have enough to start.  I would need to put in a lot of work to get noticed but I would be the only one in this area doing this.  I could start from my home and eventually venture into a commercial lot, oh that would be awesome.  I could have fun and do something that I would feel passionate about.  I would be able to incorporate my crochet items and blankets. 

If I can get this idea onto paper with details, a plan, and a timeline.... it just may work.  Obviously, nothing will work if I don't try and right now I have plenty of time to try anything. 

So off I go to start a possible plan....