After a lack of sleep night, thanks to two boys who decided it would be better to sleep with me then in their beds, I decided to roll out of bed at 7:00. Did I want to get up? No. But as I laid there contemplating sleep or waking up, I realized my 13 week old was starring at me and he would start screaming in a matter of seconds. After realizing the two year old was still snuggled in bed and snoring, I quickly jumped to my feet, scooped the baby up, and jolted out to the living room. Clearly allowing the 2 year old to sleep was a much bigger priority then that of my own sleep.
After a failed attempt at trying to get my youngest back to sleep, I placed him in his swing and went to make my coffee. While standing there waiting for the "Mommy must make it through this day" drink to brew, I started going over my imaginary to do list in my head. Cause lets face it, it takes too much time to write a to do list, right? Christmas decorations, wash, vacuum, more wash, take out the 6 month clothing (cause yes, my son is huge), even more wash... It was then that I do believe I said "crap" out loud. I realized that at 12:15 I was supposed to do a meet with two girls to pick up some clothing. I thought to myself quickly and then changed my plans. You see, prior to kids, I could have done my entire to do list and still been on time to meet the girls at 12:15. However, with kids, I am lucky to just make it to the 12:15 meet on time. Realizing I didn't have cash, I conjured up a plan that allowed me to leave the house at 11:30. I would be able to hit the ATM for cash, drive thru Dunkin Donuts to get donuts and change (must have exact change to pay for items because no one carries cash anymore), and still meet the girls on time at 12:15.
So, I started...
I walked to the bathroom to get in the shower, but I didn't even make it half way. Instead, I was greeted in the hallway by a crying little boy who's only objective is to have me hold him. Twenty minutes later, he wanted "yum yums". Eventually, after putting in a DVD, fixing breakfast, finding his "boom boom", and changing his socks (don't even ask), I was finally able to take myself to the bathroom to get a shower. Once in the shower, I heard a crying voice yell "Mommy". I peaked out from behind the shower curtain only to be yelled at because he couldn't get his toy gun to work. As I washed my hair, I explained I would fix it after I dried off, and I finish showering. I was able to fix the gun quickly then move on to start my hair. I tried to entertain the 13 week old by making silly faces and funny noises, while bouncing his chair with my foot and using the hair dryer in one hand and a round brush in the other. After an hour of trying to take a shower and do my hair, I went to get dressed. I realized that my clothes were in the dryer because I hadn't had a chance to fold and put them away yesterday. As I went to get them, the baby started crying. It was time for him to eat. I rolled my eyes and sat on the chair. I fed the baby, yes, while only wearing a bra and underwear because it was just easier that way. I finally made it to the dryer and got dressed.
Next step.... get the kids to the car because by now it was already 11:00.
Of course, the baby had just fallen asleep in his swing only after I spent 30 minutes trying to get him to go to sleep in my arms. I gently picked him up and moved him to his car seat. He did remain asleep, I smiled and thought to myself "one point for me". Then my attention was turned to my oldest. After asking him to get his boots several times, I finally found the shoes that were closest to me. I went to put them on him and he freaked out and screamed "boots". Oh dear lord, if he would have just gotten them when I asked. We found them and put them on. Then I did my checklist... jackets - check, hat - check, juice - check, diaper bag - check, kids - check. Into the car we went. Now for whatever reason, the oldest decided it was a great time to throw a fit screaming "Daddy, Daddy". After explaining that Daddy was at work and consoling the baby (cause what do you know, big brother woke him up), we finally pull out of the driveway. I thought to myself, if someone was watching us they probably find themselves asking "how in the world does it take someone 20 minutes to leave the driveway after getting into the car?". Clearly that person has no kids.
I pulled out of the driveway only to realize that our trash can was still full at the end of the drive. I questioned myself "today is Friday, right?" and continued on.
|My still full trash can|
Off to the bank we went. "Is it okay to leave your kids in the car to run into the inside ATM at the bank?" was the question I called my Mom to ask. Any sane person knows that you are to never leave a child in the car. But that said, who in the hell puts an ATM inside the bank? A man! It was 12 degrees today, both kids were in the car, and one was back to sleep... I was not taking them out just to get $40.00 from the machine. After I decided I would take the keys out and lock the doors, since the car was only going to be a few feet from the ATM (which was housed indoors by glass windows), we made it to the bank. That's when I saw the damn white sign which read "ATM temporarily out of service". I kid you not! All that planning and it didn't even work. After sighing, I find my wallet and start unloading the kids who not even 10 minutes ago I loaded into the car.
We walked into the bank. I had to ask for a checking account withdrawal slip because what do you know, they didn't have any out at the counter to fill out and my checkbook was fresh out. I filled the slip out, handed it to the lady, and while I waited the two year old spotted the lollipops. Now, we had just gone to the bank yesterday and I had three pops in the car. I gave him a pop from the counter, got my cash, and off we went. Or so I thought. Instead, we had to have yet another melt down. With a bright red cherry pop in his hand, my two year old cried out "another". I explained I had more pops in the car, but that didn't work. As the infant seat swung from my arm like a fashionable Coach purse, my hands held the cash and my wallet, and I used my foot to direct my son to the door. After standing in front of the door and not moving, I gently nudge him out of the way and opened the door. We headed to the car only to get stopped by the old man who was trying to park next to my car. I walked over to the other side and put the two year old into the car. I then realized that the old man had parked so close to my car that now he couldn't even open his door. "Stupid old man. So much for putting the baby in", I thought to myself. I stood there for a moment and realized that I needed to take the title of Mom to a new level. I quickly became flexible and pulled out my super hero cape. I lifted the infant seat up and over the toddler seat while pulling my body into the car and placed the seat into the base. "Shew, that was 5 minutes in the gym", I laughed to myself. After yet another fight with the two year old, he gets belted into his seat and I into mine.
|Pops in car|
|Only a Mom would have a sippy cup and coffee in the same location|
On our way home the car fell silent. I looked back and both kids had fallen asleep. "Awesome!", I thought. Then I realized I had to get them into the house.
As I started creating my plan for this impossible task, I noticed we where going so slow. The truck in front of me was going 35 in a 50. Argh! Nothing like being able to see your house and imagining what it would be like to enjoy just five minute of quite time there but being stuck behind THE.SLOWEST.MAN.ON.EARTH.
|Super slow jerk!|
I moved my items from the car to the house. In the process, I noticed the Thomas remote that we searched for all day yesterday was in the pocket of my bag. "I swear I looked there", I mumbled to myself.
|Missing Thomas remote - yes, I did check here yesterday!!|
Fifteen minutes went by....
Then I heard this horrible sound, like nails on a chalkboard. It was getting closer and louder. "Are you f'ing serious?!", I thought. "There isn't even snow on the damn road!" It was a plow truck. And not just once did he go by... nope. In a matter of one minute he went down and back. Yep, my silence was over. The two year old started... but wait, he fell back to sleep. Ahhh!!!
THEN THE DAMN PHONE RANG. It was officially over. The silence gone. I looked at the clock and realized that it was only 12:45. "12:45?", I thought. "I have only lived half of this day? I guess it is just one of those days!"